The Paceline

Not sure if I can convince you of this, but convincing may be highly overrated. I recently completed an online class to help me improve my presentation skills. The instructor suggested four ways to project more confidence:

1. Exude a relaxed body language.
2. Be emotionally connected with your audience yet non reactive when something goes wrong.
3. Believe that no matter what happens, you’ll be okay.
4. Don’t try to convince anyone of anything. Just present beliefs based on your experience.

The last point jumped out at me. I don’t know how many times I’ve tried to be the “convincer in chief.” I did my homework, prepared my three main points, and began presentations and discussions with an internal agenda to convince.

After all, my list of great points must always be clearly heard, thoroughly understood, and totally agreed upon – right? Maybe not. Definitely not if you audit my poor record of debate wins and acclaimed presentations. That bitter pill is not so hard to swallow when I recall there are many reasons to oppose new or even familiar ideas.

So how do you get a really important point across without trying to be convincing? Lets look at how some folks share the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ. They meet a non believer, make five minutes of small talk, then launch into a quick recital of five verses to present the bad news about ourselves and the good news about God.

1. We are all sinners. Romans 3:23
2. The penalty of sin is death. Romans 6:23
3. But Jesus Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
4. You can be saved through faith in Christ. Ephesians 2:8-9
5. You will be saved if you believe in your heart and confess with your mouth. Romans 10:9-10

In a sense, they are trying to convince non believers to accept an old book and adopt new beliefs. Sometimes that works. More often it just feels like being beaten over the head with a bible. It’s not fun.

But if instead you say: “Look this is what worked for me. It’s worked for others. I doubted this Jesus stuff before I tried it. I wrestled with it before I believed it. It’s a hard thing that make no sense. These are concepts that are risky, goofy, potentially embarrassing, possibly dangerous, but, once fully accepted, they brought so much more peace, confidence, and meaning to my life – and to the lives of others.”

Now that’s fun, and it’s authentic, and it’s true (certainly for me). The follow up is to ask, “What’s your plan? What’s the best you got (sic)?” They probably have no plan. Their best probably includes a big void.

With that admission, a door can open to deeper conversation. That conversation may lead back to the truth in those five bible verses. At the very least, a seed is planted.

To prepare your case without the need to convince is a huge relief. To share beliefs that resonate with your experience adds authenticity to what you’re saying. It is more convincing than if you try to convince.

I am convinced.